Scratching the surface
Emotions over flow.
I have all these words to say.
Instead I let the emotions rush threw me.
As all the words fade into the background.
As emotions, music, take center stage of my attention.
I wish I could pour out all those words that were just at the tip of my tongue.
Love heals and destroys me.
Part of me trusts you.
The other half doesnt.
I’ve been thinking of doing things I told my self never to do.
I’m in fear for this situation.
Standing here or there I’m in fear either way.
I fill with anger, I fill with physical symptoms such as shakes and the turning and punching inside and tears.
Your free today. Yet I never really hear from you.
I was lead on to believe you stood in a similar place as me.
You made it seem you’d be here if you could.
I am stuck to two sides always.
Being pulled to a stretch, unsure what to do.
I can’t seem to know where your coming from.
What words are truth and which are just with in the moment.
To fade to non existing truth. In the morning of this day.
I filled with calm. Yet as eyes darted over words.
The feelings I shove down and numb come out from hiding.
How I wish you said part of those words to me.
How I wish you payed the same attention to me.
I feel I can not live up to your similar tastes.
Part of your tastes scares me a little bit.
I wished you lived for me, as I live for you.
Where do I stand here, where do I stand there?
Always scratching the surface, where I bleed.
Black and white
I dislike the high and lows that come with crushing on someone.
The high to get up. To rest peaceful. To feel alive.
Emotions leaning some where near content.
The lows of being lifted up, only to be dropped back down. Beneath the high, beneath where there was stable ground. Love illness of love sickness takes over.
Crushing, falling, and loving turn my insides out.
Feeling like someones gem. Only to feel like a rock.
When the attention lessens. Feeling a lack of food source starving you from with in. Jealousy brought on by lack of control and for reason.
Such as one getting, having what you once had or what you need and want.
Them opening invitation. By flirts and personal exchange on a sexual and emotional level.
How such a thing can be healing and a infliction.
This day and age lets those who are lonely connect from miles away.
It lets one see, what they may of not have be able to see or know.
It opens up hidden doors. Yet it also lets temptations slip right in.
What would of been not acceptable, can be. Leaning once again on that door of black and white.
